The question that has plagued me lately. The question that plagues many. What am I even doing? What have I created? What have I spent my time on?
In essence one is attempting to reconcile with themselves that they have been doing more than sit there and watch videos of cats while working a 9 to 5 job. Or not working at all. Perhaps one might be in school, wondering if they’re doing it for themselves or somebody else.
What am I doing with my life?
As many of you who follow this blog may have noticed, I had disappeared. I had gotten disheartened and basically quit and fell off the face of the planet. Not a good idea, but it happens. The problem had to do with my meditation project.
Upon further reflection here is what went wrong:
1. Funding (Jewel cases and printed on CD’s run a bit of a sum…)
2. Time Limit Too Extreme
3. Unrealistic Expectations
4. Started for the wrong reasons. (Though it’s still a good idea and has many good reasons, the first one was wrong so therefore it made the project less valuable to me.)
5. “Lol how does one even market?”
I had an anxiety attack because I was failing and am guilty of epitomizing the Anxiety
/Avoidance Paradigm. However, I kept a good chunk of my notes and other things I was working on because of three key reasons. They show me I tried something. They allow me to reflect and learn. They can be used later.
As you see, I’ve come back. Am I going to try exactly what I did before? No. Because I recognize that at least at this time it is not a good thing for me to do.
I’m moving to another state, out of my parents house, away from a lot of the people I care about, away from all the drama and anxiety I could do without. It’s made me think a lot and that big question came up of what am I going to do there? I literally have free reign to do whatever I want. (Within the constrains of money, anyways.) These opportunities rarely happen.
On that note, I have a couple ideas of things I could potentially start work on, at a slow and comfortable rate, and maybe choose to focus on one later on.
1. Creating a workable concept for a kitten purrs energy harnesser. (And similar unique energy sources.)
2. Stop worrying about the controversy of my “face reading” and actually write a book or start a website about it that’s based in at least some psychology. (Maybe I should call it the sherlock effect.)
3. Write a fiction book. Just finish one. (Already have like a million ideas…)
4. Create a poetry collection to sell on Amazon. (With or without some of the poetry from my deviantart.)
5. Work on things relating to elance. (The freelancing site.)
I hope you all have a super grand day today and remember that even if you fail at something, it doesn’t mean you’ll fail at everything. Find your niche.